~*In.Vain.I.Blame.My.Trembling.On.The.Cold.Air*~ [entries|friends|calendar] to the end of yesterday's feelings [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

pc repair.- here u go phil [09 Feb 2005|08:30pm] PC REPAIR Mike DeLisa - computer/web design Phil Iannuzzo - advertising/computers ...specializing in the repair, service and training of PCs and their peripherals, such as iPods, MP3 players... visit us at www.mikespc.bravehost.com WE ACCEPT DONATIONS (c) 2005 Phil Iannuzzo with (c) 2005 Mike D 7 help me| lose my fear of falling

im a ho... [01 Feb 2005|08:34am] [ mood | complacent ] [ music | shadows like statues // mbr ] <td>You are a hoe. You are characterized as being used by others, when in fact it is the other way around. You are secretive, especially around those you care most about. Even though you are always one take control of situations, people can sometimes bring down your self esteem. But don't worry. You have the opposite sex to make all of your dreams come true. Just don't be too dependent on your lover... he may be only using you to tend to his crops. Most Compatible with: Toilet Paper, and Toenail. Click here -- What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self? </td> errr lovely.. thanks again joe for that beautiiiiful entry down v there 3 help me| lose my fear of falling

LOVER BOY [30 Jan 2005|05:25pm] [ mood | loved ] IT's been 1 week and 2 days since i met the man of my dreams!!! Hes an honest guy, nothing like those other boys i dated and hes just as werid as i can be.LOL!!  ummmm...by the way his name is joe if u didnt no that already and hes the BEST!!!  Since he's the only thing on my mind i'll say hey to all my friends and luv ya to, well..... i think u know who!LOL!!! CIAO, till next time!! 6 help me| lose my fear of falling

there is no subject..there is nothing [17 Jan 2005|10:17am] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | grrrrrr ]   "I made a mistake, and when i see you all i want to do is make it again"   ( wats this? ) 4 help me| lose my fear of falling

[16 Jan 2005|02:21pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | fallen // evanescence ] I linger in the doorway of alarm clock sceaming monsters calling my name let me stay where the wind will whisper to me where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story in my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby i lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me dont say im out of touch with this rampant chaos - your reality i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge the nightmare i built my own world to escape   swallowed up in the sound of my screaming cannot cease for the fear of silent nights oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming the goddess of imagnary light 3 help me| lose my fear of falling

[10 Jan 2005|09:41pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | okay i believe you, but my tommy gun dont // bn ] _i think its rather scary and stalkerish how many ppl i have caught reading this, who dont leave comments  _i guess thats what is expected when i post the link ... but iv caught ppl who i dont even know who they are and have never once imed me.  _if you ppl dont stop trying to be all @)*$&(#  sneaky im fucking making this friends only ... end of story ^props to court for that.. thanks my other half   anywho.. i was jsut going over in my head about guys cheating on their gfs [n girls for that matter too] and it just baffles me.  i cant understand how a person could be so cruel... there are other ways to deal with certain situations that dont involve cheating.. n the worst thing is when you excuse urself from cheating by saying you were "drunk" or "it meant nothing" god.. just save it for the pplwho care, ur not fooling anyone.   I HAVE GIVEN UP ON GUYS!!! THEY ALL CONTINUE TO BAFFLE ME  [ except sean.. hes love ; ) ] 3 help me| lose my fear of falling

im writting this letter [05 Jan 2005|09:18am] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | light with a sharpened edge// the used ] and i keep spiraling down.. it happens again.  this circle keeps going round n round. and everyone else wonders why i think circles are evil.. psh.   dum de doot.   ( a poem of some sort ) 5 help me| lose my fear of falling

procrastinating my hw =] [04 Jan 2005|08:30am] [ mood | wat is this part for? ] [ music | duality// slipknot ] this is my horoscope...: LIBRA:  Leave the bad boys alone in 2005. You need an honest guy who will be there for you through thick and thin.  An average joe may have a lot more to offer than you think.   ( Leaving in Regret ) 9 help me| lose my fear of falling

[31 Dec 2004|08:18pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | yesterday's feelings// the used ] HAPPY ALMOST NEW YEARS!!! 2005! woot.. or as i would tell my other half 2006  8D anywho.. vacations almost over ='[  but heres my oh-so-exciting life: friday- christmas eve con la familia saturday- christmas sunday- got sick monday- went to jillian's with my other half- we got super makeovers by the genious jill and took many many pics we watched napoleon dynamite also.. omgoshhh wtflip man? i want my chapstick             tuesday- went to broadway with court.. had mucho mucho funo .. had my first heart attack.. threw around a pink thong in front of a family in the elevator... =] haha classic nite at the mall con my other half wednesday- went to mere yaar's with em em dayna and su's cousins.. watched GATTACA!!!!!!!!! jude is sex on the beah.. cept when he had sex upside down.that was strangeness thursday- started homework... didnt really get any done friday [otherwise known as today]- celebrated a lovely new years at olive garden wtih the family..how exciting =/ 4 help me| lose my fear of falling

[23 Dec 2004|09:12pm] [ mood | scared ] [ music | laid to rest// lamb of god ] YAY!! finally vaca! wats the last thing dr.snider says to court n me rite b4 we are officially off from school?to another teacher: "this is the first time i have seen these girls without boys"   lmao! ... dr.snider loves us... he just loves us anywho... im copying this survey from sudha's lj ( surveys are sex on the beach ) 1 help me| lose my fear of falling

the key is lost [22 Dec 2004|03:46am] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | my eyes burn // matchbook romance ] i need serious help in math... anyone wana help? [i.e i need a tutor =/] my eyes burn from these tears you'd think i'd learn over these years good things wont last forever concert later today... then friendlys? after maybeeess. get ready for the new chapter of this teenage love life boys and girls lose my fear of falling

reminiscing about ... life ? [20 Dec 2004|09:58am] [ mood | flirty ] [ music | frayed ends // midtown ] let it snow let it snow let it snoww! 3 and a half months.... since the beginning of high school 5 and a half months.... since middle school graduation 4 and somethign months... since boys n girls [con eric..cough cough] 2 months  .... since a first 3 months  .... since a lost love oh boy..... lol  fun day at school... =] i love snow!!! 3 help me| lose my fear of falling

[18 Dec 2004|10:55pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | megalomaniac ] today was interesting.... woke up and went to.... track! oh yay! how fun =/   taryon asked me where my other half was.... well i ended up speding the entire day with her =] lol mall with court the fabulous for last minute christmas shopping [oh boy was that fun-wat a chore it is to shop for other ppl when you dont know wat to get them] by the time we were done.. we were so shopping n malled out that we didnt even get to shop oursleves.. then my brother decided to come over n bring The Grudge in the japanese version..so my dad said court could come n stay to watch it with us.  so we did that.. it was reallly odd n confuzzling.. i spilt alot of chocolate pretzal on myself and on my moms bed.. oh well and precious attacked court [sry bout that] anywho... thats my day =]   oh yea.. and track meet is tomorrow..im excited 3 help me| lose my fear of falling

[16 Dec 2004|07:12pm] [ mood | full ] [ music | redemption // switchfoot ] Four A.M. two hours to go I'm wearing out a lonely glow. I miss you more than I could know.                     . ..redemption... Here I am, here I am, won't you get me? I've got my hands in redemption's side Whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine. I'll fit all of these mosnstrosities inside and I'll come alive. My fears have worn me out My fears have worn me out My fears have worn me, worn me.   get into a good college far away from here so i can... become a psychiatrist and help those who cant help themselves witness a miracle fall in love... send my work to places that will recognize what i have done... so it does not jsut sit n rot in my room become more content   [with myself n mylife b/c there is no reason i shouldnt be] okies..w/e this was strange but im super board..... la la la la la 5 help me| lose my fear of falling

[15 Dec 2004|08:58am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Lazy Gun // Jet ] I have screamed until my veins collapsed I've waited as my time's elapsed Now, All I do is live with so much fate I've wished for this, I've bitched at that I've left behind this little fact: You cannot kill what you did not create               ...duality... I've gotta say what I've gotta say And then I swear I'll go away But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise I guess I'll save the best for last @My future seems like one big past@ You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice its the only thing that slowly stops the ache   its all slowly fading away... friends forgotten - family lost - morals thrown away - meanings gone - reasons fell away - promises broken - days fading - life slowly dragging on.... its all so strange.. every day has been a blur to me... its weird how ive been in highschool for 3 months now... n i still dont feel it.. everything that has happened .. it hasnt been affecting me as much as it mite seem.. its like im numb and nothing is getting to me.  i guess everything happens for a reason [at least thats wat i believe] but i cant understand the reasons.... they make no sense..n these nonsensical things are so insignificant sometimes that i forget about them..until something comes up that will remind me of them   okies im sry..this made no sense ... oh well  -_ o.o _-  1 help me| lose my fear of falling

destiny gets nervous [13 Dec 2004|09:28am] [ mood | drained ] [ music | vermillion // slipknot ]  well... today has been very interesting i was freaking out the entire day.. i am such a bitch.. im so mean.. but then i think its better now.hopefully   =/  WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! [lol mere yaar] how will we ever know if this is truly who you are? why cant you just be yourself.. nothing is better than that <3 in the last month i have ... (the bolded ones) i stole this from court =] thanks my other half.  made a wish it never came true tied your shoes eaten cake signed a contract made something explode sent something through the US mail been very angry  gone a day without eating stolen something you considered "insignificant" watched more than three different television shows prayed  had a conversation that you considered very personally meaningful i had many of these with my other half been intoxicated by any substance thrown up gotten paid gone a night without sleeping   losing sleep over you is not what i expected broken something you like by accident envied someone  oh yes.. finished an artistic project   songs hated made noise that was too loud given a thumbs up agreed to go to out of state  sadly i never actually did this slept in a bed that is not, or has never been, your own sampled listened to Pat Benatar's "Love Is a Battlefield" been drunk smoked pot kissed a member of the opposite sex   didnt mean a thing ridden in a taxi been dumped been fired been in a fight   =[ snuck out of your parent's house broken the law made out with a stranger stole something from your job saw someone you haven't seen in years fibbed to a friend   im not pround of this.... had a crush on a teacher been to europe been out of the country skipped school said something you regretted instantly  do it all the time read a good book tried something new broken your word ended up not doing what you planned to do  everything i have planed this year has not worked out how i wanted it to.... cried  i cried myself to sleep a couple of nite ago... thanks to u kept your mouth shut in order to keep the peace  oh how much it toutures 7 help me| lose my fear of falling

why dont we hit restart and pause it at our favorite part? [11 Dec 2004|07:31am] [ mood | guilty ] [ music | tiger lily // matchbook romance ] there has been so much going on lately its hard to grasp all of it. .... but recently i have had alot of time to just sit and think things through and also discuss some stuff with my other half... that helps<3 i have come to the conclusion that... i feel terrible about what has happened. i feel so guilty and horrible and i am so close to crying its that upsetting. i cant speack for anyone else, but all i know is i make a huge mistake and i plan on fixing it. the only problem is.. will she forgive me? does she feel the same? is she willing to listen to what i have to say? can i actually gather the courage to confront this problem? i cant live this way any longer.. this biggest mistake i have ever made..... =/ im so sorry =[ ~i i dont want to speak these words, cuz i i dont want to make things worse~ 1 help me| lose my fear of falling

ohh booyyy [08 Dec 2004|07:59am] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | silver bullet//hawthorne heights ] wow... interesting week so far. skipped track to hang with my other half, steve, n ian. poor ian... we hang out in the bathrooms [lol] all the time.. n this ONE time.. we get caught and who gets in trouble...ian! psh.. its not like it was anythign bad.... anywho... =] and =/ but alritey then... ::I Won't Make You:: its been hours now, to be here like this, just to lay you down, just to taste your lips just to keepme up, im so tired of sleeping just to lay inside you, and know this feeling 2 help me| lose my fear of falling

[05 Dec 2004|12:53pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | promise// matchbook romance ] friday was an "experience".  had a track meet that lasted til 12 and didnt get home until 2 am.  wonderful.. court and i had an interesting time.. joined at the hip..yup yup =].  we almost died after we ran, chaning in the bleachers for ALL to see, getting hit on by security guards and ahem.. teammates, freaking out, getting to love spankies [they are actually kinda cute, ur rite court] dum de doot.. yup lots of fun...    so much has been going on this past week.. i dont know how i actually handle it all.  so much is goin on in my mind and my thoughts are all over the place.. i start off thinking about one good thing [<3] and then end up thinking about the horrible shit that has happened and i get all bleehh.  anywho.. heres some lyrics to sum up some feelings:   +Fighting+ I dont understand it all So many questions So few answers So little time The problems, the confusion. I cant get it out of my head. The screaming and yelling, the fighting goes on forever. When will it all end? I wish it all would end. Mother doesnt see how it's tearing us apart. Father's in denial, was like this from the start. Years go by without a word. We keep quiet in fear of what could come. Not facing the problem, hiding the pain "Stay together for the kids" is so clishe Tear drops are falling like raindrops come pouring. Loss of control, it starts again Run to my room, make the pain dissapate and pretend all is well Anger and hatred is all that is known Trying to keep it together. Its hard How can you help when they wont work it out? How can you fix what is meant to stay broke? "I wont do this again" she says "We should work it out" but the tears keep on comming. He yells on again Sometimes its so hard to see his heart Sometimes its so hard to tell them apart Sometimes its so hard to see what they want Maybe its meant to be this way 3 help me| lose my fear of falling

[02 Dec 2004|09:04pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | shadows like statues // matchbookromance ] AHH I FUCKING WROTE AN ENTIRE ENTRY N NOW I JUST LOST IS CUZ MY COMP IS RETARTED!!!!!!!!!! omg..spankies!!!!!!!!! ahh! they are evil, my friens. so is my bio teacher...shes a true bitch.. she was getting so much pleasure from knowing that she has power over me.. psh bitch. ____________________________________________ no one can write your own story but you if u let someone else do it you're screwed yes, life's a story one that never ends exciting and new or boring and blue life is the story you make it life is the way you paint it dont let others take the pen on your own from the start write your own story, be true to your heart _____________________________________________ lose my fear of falling

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